Has it finally worked? Do I feel confident and relaxed? Is my body smaller? Actually the last one doesn’t seem to matter that much anymore because it feels like the first two questions have been answered positively so the final question doesn’t matter that much. Did I really just write that? Who am I? I’m not sure I know anymore because I feel I have changed so much. Scary, but thrilling, stuff.
I feel it would be helpful for me (and maybe anybody reading) to summarise where I am now. That feels all a bit self indulgent, but do you know what? This is all about me!!! Wow, that feels a bit strange and selfish.
Anyway, back to my focus:
1 I am eating more slowly, putting down the food between bites.
2 I am really (and I mean really) tasting my food, asking myself whether I enjoy it, do I want to eat any more of it, would I prefer something else?
3 I am not thinking about food, eating, my body ALL the time. Still thinking about it but I’m not quite as obsessively.
4 I am eating because I am hungry not because I am bored, sad, angry, stressed etc etc.
5 My biggest step forward is being able to identify mouth hunger (which normally happens because of the reasons listed in point 4 and also because I see food, smell food, someone else has food, food is placed close to me). I can tell myself this is simply mouth hunger and resist. Well done, me. Well, most of the time anyway.
6 I can eat out, eat more one day than normal, without thinking that everything’s ruined and I might as well eat everything I can see until I rein myself in and go back on some ridiculous diet.
7 I am never going to diet again.
8 I am enjoying good quality, nutritious food, with the odd something off the list thrown in without feeling guilty.
9 I am eating much less than I used to because nothing is banned. I have a basket full of chocolate downstairs and I haven’t thought about it for weeks. I haven’t eaten crisps for nearly a month (I think) and I haven’t been yearning for them and denying myself.
10 I feel better and think I look better. I don’t know how much I weigh, I don’t weigh myself but my clothes fit and feel comfortable. I move freely and with confidence.
11 I am a different person. I have worked very hard to get where I am, to understand myself more and I feel it is finally working.
12 When I feel it has worked I probably won’t feel the need to write about it anymore which feels a bit sad but I suppose I could tackle any other one of my hang-ups, that should keep me in material for years.
13 I’d like you to try it too and see if it works for you. Think how much more energy you will have to focus on important things if you stop thinking about the size of your bottom!
That seems like enough for now. I am sure I will think of something else and come back to this later.
Enjoy your day x